British Humor, Part II

Per my friend’s request before I left the states, I promised to share any jokes told to me by Brits. He was convinced I wouldn’t find any funny Brits. I set out to share my humor research when I had collected at least two jokes, hence the delay:

At the beginning of my stay here I went to a football match (soccer game) in Southampton. I asked for walking directions to the stadium. The man giving me directions must have read the confusion on my face as I tried to decipher his accent:

“Don’t worry if you make a wrong turn, mate, you’re on an island. Just keep walking and you’ll end back here before long.”

And now a second collected joke.

During a walk in the woods, I spot what appears to be poison ivy.  Although I fully trusted the rhyme, “leaves of three, let it be,” I wanted to be certain so I ask my British friend: 

“Poison ivy in the states has three leaves. Is it the same here?”

To which the Brit responds:

“Not quite, mate. Ours is metric: 3.2 leaves.”

I promise to keep collecting, but I am not holding out much hope for a British Humor, Part III.

Raining again; still perfect.